What makes you want to get married? What makes you hesitate to get married?
Mr. J, who is in his early 30s, says recently as he watched his close friends getting married made him think about many things.
“They all got married since they were expecting a baby. I don't think I have the courage to do that unless I'm sure about the person and I am not sure if my friends are so sure about their decisions. Often, couples decide to marry when they are having a baby. Regardless of how it happened, I am envious of them getting married and worried at the same time. Am I too closed off or cautious?
As we live in an era where people are more open about sex, there are so many premarital pregnancies these days. Sometimes, premarital pregnancy is now considered as a part of a dowry in some Asian countries. If you're going to get married anyway, getting pregnant before getting married may not be a big issue, however if pregnancy is the reason you decide to get married then this may not be a good decision because you will be marrying a person out of a sense of responsibility rather than if you truly want each other.
Some say, if you think too much, it makes it harder to decide on marriage.
When you think about marrying someone, you want to see if this person is suitable for marriage and possible the shortcomings of that person. There are many reasons you want to get married and not want to get married. Thus, when it is hard to make a decision, it is somewhat better to have a decisive reason like pregnancy to make your decision making easier. Would it be ok to make the decision to get married when you face a rather decisive reason like pregnancy? Will you have any regrets about that decision?
Woman 1
“A friend of mine in her mid-30s used to complain about her being alone when all her friends got married. She met a guy and made a hasty decision to get married, regretted it, and eventually broke up. If you want something badly, it can blind you from making a good decision.
Man 1
“I often regretted it after break ups. It was like seeing the mountain after climbing down. My friends tell me to go for marriage if it’s okay after 2-3 months of dating.”
Woman 2
“I’ve been dating a person who I met though an arranged matchmaking for about two months, and there’s already talk of marriage. I want to take the time dating then make a decision, but others don’t understand why I need more time since I met this person through the arranged matchmaking. Though, I don't know if I am making the right decision. It's good now, but what if I don’t feel the same way later on?
Man 2
“I have a temper, and I didn’t want to show it to her however, she ended up found out about it. I know that women don’t like men with temper so I thought it was over, but she told me to control my temper if I want to continue dating her. I was surprised to see how understanding she was and that made me want to try improving my temper to marry her.
Woman 3
“He is a very strong and somewhat cold-hearted person in front of others, but he shows his soft side of him when he is around me which made me think that he really trusts me. If he proposes to me, I think I will accept it.
Man 3
“She told me that she had won a gas gift certificate then she gave the certificate to me since it costs a lot to drive her around. Her thoughtful gesture really impressed me and was the right decision to make at that time. When you meet people, you can feel whether they are genuine or pretending.
No one gets married because they found a perfect person. Although we know this already, we still look for someone better than what we have around us. Then we miss someone good and regret it sometimes. Treat them well when you have them around you, but we tend to forget this. One thing is clear though. No matter what force majeure happens, of course, some people say it is fate, but if you find the person you want to spend your life with, there must be a reason why you chose that person.
Don't make your decision to get married because of circumstances around you.
Couple.net CEO / WoongJin Lee
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