Although dating is not necessarily predicated on marriage, there is a high possibility that dating will lead to marriage.
So, when seeing someone, you need to carefully observe the person as your potential spouse. Popular men and women are often well mannered, warm and have a good impression.
However, sometimes there are people don’t show their true side until you get to know them better.
I heard a story from a person I know about this beautiful and attractive woman who met a guy through her friends and got married. She married the guy since he was a well-mannered gentleman even though he was lacking in social and financial status as a marriage partner. She fell in love with him quickly and she didn’t spend enough time finding out more about him.
In fact, there was a time when she had a glance of his true side before marriage. One time she arrived at a café where she was meeting the guy early, so she decided to sit there and wait for the guy while having some coffee. An elderly woman who was passing by the man dropped the bag she was carrying, causing the items to spill out.
In cases like this, it is normal to offer help, but the man glanced at the scene and just passed by. This woman fell for him because of his kind heart and manner so after unexpectedly sighting that scene, she asked him about the incident.
Then he said, “I was so deep in my thought that I didn’t even notice it,” She didn’t think much of it then and the incident passed like that.
As she spent more time together with him, she realized that he gets excited and mad so easily but then he quickly apologizes and treats her better, so she got used to it. She got too close to him by then and was too late to break up the relationship.
Their marriage was squeaking with problems from the beginning. He had a lot of debt, and many things about him were different from what he had told her before marriage. Yet she loved him and since she and her family have money, she took care of his debt.
Then she had a baby. It was a honeymoon baby. She wanted to enjoy her newlywed couple’s life without kids for a couple of years, but he had different ideas. He wanted to have children as a security for their marriage.
When I met her several years after she got married, she looked quite different. She looked tired and down. I could tell her marriage life must not be going well. Living with a husband who yells at his wife instead of treating them like a princess must have been hard.
It is not her fault. Anybody would have been fooled by a guy like him. However, the consequence of trusting love was so devastating.
Even if you don't find the best spouse, it's really important to avoid the worst spouse. So, when dating someone, you need to be able to observe your partner screen out those bad ones before you are so blinded by love and fall into a trap.
Couple.net CEO | WoongJin Lee
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