“At last she accepted his proposal. He was much pleased with the time he invested in waiting. How could I have this woman? It was a true love that began in his sixties…”
He felt he was lonely and empty. He thought that the money and prestige were useless while he was spending his time without having loved one and having been loved by any woman. He really wanted to marry again.
He was, however, not in a situation to marry again as other people around him did. It was difficult for him to meet woman because he was kind of somebody already. He could be known as “an old man who seeks young woman.” Therefore, he thought that it was better to search woman in overseas rather than in the country, and thus contacted match-making agencies in China and Japan for services.
A woman in the twenties who is a beauty and communicable with feeling.
His marriage conditions were simple and clear-cut. The woman must be in her twenties, has a good impression, and be communicable to each other by good feeling. He was at ease with ladies from overseas because he was a good speaker of English and Japanese. Notwithstanding, he was not able to find a good woman. Maybe it was because of his strict conditions for marriage. Even though he was in his late fifties, his outside appearance was like that of a man of his forties. There were many women who wanted him because he had a renowned financial capacity. He met couple of women in China and Japan, but he could not be happy. After a while, he tried to find the partners in Korea rather than to wasting time in meaningless meetings in China and Japan.
I, as a marriage counselor, evaluated him with calm and callous mind.
“Your estimation of self is very high. It may be easy for you to meet women, but not to get married with one. In Korean marriage market, the age differences work, and it will not be easy to get married.”
His wishes were, however, inveterate and tenacious. I had to find out what his real inward faces were.
“He has lived so far by attracting the public attention. Will it be possible for him to avoid the public notices while he is in the process of marriage?”
“The marriage is solely for my happiness. Who dare to meddle in the other’s life? Any loving couple need be respected anyways. I want to have a real love with whom I choose.”
I searched the whole applicant’s data, and tried to select those who have big age differences with their parents. Around 30 people were selected from 10,000 applicants. Twelve people were selected again from the 30 pre-selected applicants by the outward impression. When I asked the 12 people whether they like the meeting, only 4 replied positively. The background of the each four of the women was diverse; a stylish woman who majored dance in a university, an ordinary career woman, a woman with a profession, etc. After the meeting, all the women were positive for him.
His final choice was the ordinary career woman. I think the woman’s warm-hearted understanding moved his mind. She was in her thirties. She expressed her philosophy of marriage.
“I think there are no laws regulating the marriage, and if I follow the so-called rules of marriage, it would not guarantee the happiness. He is satisfying all my conditions. He loves me foremost. He has healthy mind and body. I want to learn more, to draw pictures, and to travel around to be happy, and he has the financial capacity to provide what I need.”
The two are now engaged now. She needs to have her mother’s consent to marry him. She said positively.
“I think my parents will happily consent my marriage if I could be happy.”
It is up to them to marry or not. The man in his late fifties is happy because he thinks that he found out the true love finally. The woman is also happy to find out the gentleman she wanted whatever the others say about their marriage.
“If it is so important to abide by the social norms regarding the marriage, are the people who abided by them happy at all times? There may be times when we need abide by the norms and custom. I think that as far as the marriage is concerned, the personal happiness is the paramount importance. I think I don’t do any anti-social things by marrying the way I want. I am proud to choose the happiness that I want.”